It's finally (almost over)!!

The election is almost come and gone (the polls close in 8 minutes) and I am so excited. I have gotten so tired of all the politics! I voted for the first time today and even have my sticker to prove it. I almost didn't vote but when I went into work my boss almost yelled at me that I had to vote. (Please keep in mind that when my boss uses his 'inside voice' he is only a decimal below shouting. When he uses his excited voice it gets even louder.) So I voted. I feel bad for voting because I'm definitely an under informed voter. But I also would have felt bad for not voting. I thought about following the advice I heard on the radio, 'just vote for whoever will make the best SNL skits!'. I was pretty tempted to vote on that alone because I love tina fey, but I did take a few more issues into account.

In other news of our life. I know I blogged that Brett has cancer, which is true, but I really haven't let on many more details. And it's mostly because I don't want to worry people. But then I realized the other day why Brett and I are handling the entire thing so well while some other people are nearly making themselves sick with worry. It's because Brett and I know exactly how much we can do for ourselves, we know when our next doctor's appointment is and we know that we can't do anything more till then. We also know what our own needs are and we can meet then and move on. However, family and friends it's different. When I've been the family or friend I've been the one worrying sick with what if's and what more can I do. So in appreciation for all your prayers and expressions of love I'll fill you in as much as I can on all the what if's and what more can you do's.

So I'll start from the beginning and instead of saving the post when I run out of time tonight and then never finishing it. (I have a billion unposted posts.) I'll just publish what I've finished and pick up later.

So nearly two months ago Brett discovered a mass on his testicle. What a blessing it is that instead of ignoring the thing we went to our family doctor (after of course finding one) and had it checked out. This let to an ultrasound a week later. About another week later the result came back. This day I remember as a vivid blur (oxymoron... yes). It was a Tuesday and I was at school doing homework. Brett called letting me know the results had come back and our family doctor had suggested the name of a Urologist. I spent the remainder of the day crying. I cried on the phone with the insurance company (calling the insurance company to see what was covered is about the first thing I did), I cried as I picked up my stuff from the computer lab I was working in and left (much to the bewilderment and concern of my friends), I cried as I told my boss I would not be coming into work, and I cried as I walked home. And when I got home I made Brett cry because I was crying. I then called and told my parents and cried. And surprisingly I did not cry when I called the radiologist that lives down the street and asked if he'd look at Brett's ultrasound results. I also did not laugh with fear or sorrow but with ironic tears when I wrote a paper for school about radiation and where it comes from. (FYI a large portion of our radiation dose come from medical procedures.) Lucky the tears cease and left me with a headache. And even more luckily our appointment with the Urologist was the next morning because really it is the unknown that drives me to tears. As soon as we realized, yeah it is probably cancer, every movie about someone with cancer came to my mind and the fear and emotional roller coaster set it. But I'm happy to say that day was the only time that I cried for fear.

The next morning (a Wednesday) a long wait and short meeting with the Urologist put the uncertainty of what was coming to rest. The thought was that the mass was small enough that it had probably not spread but to confirm this a CT scan and a chest X-Ray were set up for the next day. A radical orchiectomy (surgery) was scheduled for the following Monday. And such a blessing it was that the following Monday also happened the be the Monday a week long break from school, thus, to Brett's dismay he didn't miss any school and to my relief I didn't miss any school.

So our week long break at home in Idaho was shortened to one weekend. That Saturday was a nephew's birthday party and the perfect opportunity for Brett to get a blessing from his father and all his brothers. This day I also cried, not because I was scared, but because I can't not cry during a priesthood blessing, because I have faith and I knew that everything was going to be okay and I was thankful for that, but most of all because the power of those men in that room was real and was so strong it's undeniable. I start to cry just thinking about it.

Well all wonderful weekends come to an end. Mine ended with the flu the minute we walked back into our apartment. (Luckily I made it to our apartment). The following morning was filled with nausea (on the part of me and both Brett's parents) and worry. I nearly puked when the put the IV in Brett (combination of dislike of needles and again the nausea). Then came the waiting room (and more nausea). First was an hour and fifteen minutes of waiting for the doctor to come out. I looked up every time I heard footsteps walk past hoping it was the doctor. Then once he came out and told us everything went well was 45 minutes of waiting for the phone in the waiting room to ring saying we could come back. The highlight of this waiting period was when a little old lady wanted to change the TV channel and Brett's dad strongly objected because the game was on and the Ray's were playing. Finally as the 45 minutes was coming to an end I found myself incredibly annoyed at the family watching a very loud, rather inappropriate movie on their laptop in the back of the waiting room. But let me tell you when that phone rang I jumped up and ran over faster than I've ever moved before. I was so relieved that the call was for me and not one of the other families waiting.

Brett was in heaven back in the recovery room. He had apple juice and 'nilla wafers. He felt so great the rest of the night while Brett's parents and I all still felt sick.

Over the following week Brett recovered so quickly.

Speaking of Brett... he's home now so I'll finish later.