Sunday, November 23, 2008

Being on the bandwagon isn't so bad.

Well there you have it I just finished Twilight. My brother and sister-in-law stayed with us before flying out of the Salt Lake Airport and she brought the first book down for me to borrow. I was sure to not be too judgmental and let myself enjoy the book. And I actually did enjoy it quite a bit. I got a little sick of how overly clumsy the main character was made out to be and wanted to yell 'just pick your feet up a little higher when you walk woman!' I made sure my sister-in-law only brought down the first book because I knew if I had all four books all my responsibilities would go unfinished. So now I'll have to wait till thanksgiving break, luckily that starts on Wednesday. But of course we are staying with my in-laws so I'll have to restrain myself from reading 22 out of the 24 hours everyday I'm up day. Something about needed to be social...

So sister-in-laws are we still going to see the Twilight movie over break. I just read the book just so I could see the movie. so are we still going?

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Something for me to whine about.

I am so angry depressed. Wanna know why? I lost my chap stick. Brand new I bought it last Friday and I've lost it. I swear I put it in my pocket before leaving this morning and now it is gone. gone like a freight train gone like yesterday! Why is it that cheap chap stick will stick around for ever? I still have a grape flavored Winnie the Pooh chap stick from freshman year! But I buy yummy delicious 5 dollar chap stick (that was on sale too!) and it's gone within a week! Mind you I could be over reacting. Last month I thought I had lost my U-Card. Same situation I was almost positive I had put it in my pocket but then it was still at home on my dresser. So maybe the same thing with my lip chap. But until I can get home and look for it I'm mourning for my lonely, barely used chap stick shivering on the sidewalk some where between here and my home.

I miss you my yummy, beautiful lip gloss.

The chap stick has been found. Well I guess I should say A chapstick. Brett found it walking home, on the side walk, about a block from our apartment. Same color, same brand, same flavor, same amount of lip gloss left, same newness looking. I'm still a little untrustworthy of it. Brett said he ran a DNA test on the application part and it matches mine.... I still haven't used it yet. But really what are the chances that someone else dropped the exact same chapstick within a block of our house the exact same day mine disappears....

On another note I'm going to finally add a new recipe to my recipe blog. It a nearly perfected dish so don't miss it.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Two 'fer' Tuesday

So my dad's favorite shopping website does two for Tuesdays. Well it's Sunday but you are so lucky your going to get two posts in one today even though it is Sunday.

Post #1: Why I cried like a five year old today

Post #2 I'll continue with Brett's Thursday doctor's appointment.

I hate dishes. Hate them. I find them evil and vile and they always return. Almost as soon as their all clean there are dirty ones again. I feel the same way about underwear. You wash your under garments and think they are all clean and suddenly you realize the ones you have on are dirty. It's a ruthless endless cycle. Anyway back to dishes. Don't tell Brett, but I usually do just about anything to get out of doing dishes. Tonight my ploy was to make dessert while Brett washes dishes. Tonight's dessert was going to be JELLO. If this statement sound weird to you I think you are weird. Yes jello is a dessert. It is not a side dish and is never a fruit. JELLO = dessert. Jellos is to side dish as... okay I'm not an English major so I can't finish this literary tool... I can't ever remember the name of the literary device I just tried to use. Getting back to JELLO. My mom makes really yummy jello. She makes it in the blender and adds cream cheese to it. yuuuummmyyyy!. So I'm going about my business making Jello while Brett does dishes. I've put the jello granules in the blender and add the 2 cups of boiling water. As i loosely place the lid on the blender I think, I hope my lowest blender setting is a slow stir. I hit the button and immediately blood red boiling liquid is spurted onto the walls, floor, table, stove, and all over my arms. I let out a screech and Brett immediately goes to work cleaning up the crime scene. I begin washing it from my arms and burst out in tears. The surprise of what had just happened and the slight pain in my arms added up to tears. Really it is quite humorous but at the time I could do nothing but cry. And this cry wasn't just a glistening tear sliding down my sheet. I was just a few decimals shy of a full on toddler cry fest.. well close. The jello turned out pretty darn good... I still have red marks my arms.

Okay as promised a second post all in one.

So once the doctor came in it was down to business. Basically there are three options. The first is do nothing... well almost nothing. Nothing is actually a CT Scan every two months for a few years and then every six months for a few more years. So the doing nothing option would mean seven years of doing something... at 5 grand a pop! The cure rate for this option is 80%. The second option is radiation treatments. There would be one treatment a day 5 days a week for just over three weeks. Seventeen treatments in all. Each treatment is 150 rads of about 15 MeV X-Rays. Those are some insane fast X-Rays. The radiation would be be concentrated on straight down the middle of his abdomen. Every treatment would take about 15 minutes and may result in a little nausea. The cure rate for this option is 98%. The final option we didn't really consider. I guess recently they've been using a treatment or two of Chemotherapy. But since this option hasn't been around as long he'd still have to get CT scans.

So we decided to go with the second option. One of the worries with this option is will we be able to have kids. Most likely we will still be able to have kids. But just to be sure we are um.... taking some precautionary measures. After meeting with the doctor Brett was mapped. This is where the tattoos happened. So basically as I understand Brett had to get another CT scan but this time without the indicator. To ensure Brett lays in the same spot every time they have lasers and they marked where the lasers go with little tiny tattoos. It'll take about a week to create models of Brett's abdomen and they'll make some dose calculations. Next Thursday they'll do a dry run and the treatments with start the Monday after. So there you go.. Just like life I'm sure there will be more to come.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

You think you know your husband.

After 6 months of dating plus ten months of marriage I thought I knew my husband. Then one day... he comes home with not one but three tattoos!.

So we met with a radiation oncologist today. Dr, Jeffry Lee with the Utah Cancer Specialist. This was kind of a difficult appointment for me. You have to understand. It's been nearly a month since Brett's surgery. And thus quite a while since we've really had doctor's appointments and CT scans and nightly phone calls to get the update. So the whole thing just kind of went to the back of my mind and sat there. Now today it was brought back to the front of my mind in a big way. At all other appointment we were just at the hosipital with other sick people with a whole lot of different problems. Even at the urologist's office where the other people in the waiting room had cancer they didn't look like it. But at this place... you could tell the other people were sick, and getting treatments and you knew it was cancer. And to be completely honest it scared me. But it also made me thankful that Brett had a relatively easily treated cancer. Then we met with a lady who described herself as the 'welcoming lady'. She just had us fill out some paperwork, gave us a brochure, and gave us the low down on the insurance situation.

Once she was finished it was more waiting. Once the nurse came and got us it was the usual height, weight, blood pressure, pulse, and temperature. Finally after...

So I started this post earlier and was going to finish until Brett reminded me I have a test tomorrow. And since I always make him stop doing fun things to study I had to taste my own medicine. Normally I would have just left this as a draft until I had time to finish it completely but I know I never would so.. here you go. Sorry I never got to the good information like why Brett got three tattoos. {on a side not Brett just asked me what I was doing blogging when I have homework... he is getting to be so strict about no fun before homework is done.}

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

This post is brought to you by:


In an effort to avoid starting on my homework I've decided to blog. I have nothing exciting to say so I'll just share my mundane week with you.

So far:

Monday I took a fluids test. I was a bit worried afterward. I knew either I did the problem right or totally wrong. That night we went out to Rodizio's restaurant. If you have never been to this place and you eat meat you have to go at least once. It is supposedly Brazilian and the servers just bring an assortment of meat around and if you want some they slice some off for you. You think you'll never get full because they are pretty small slices of meat... before you know it your totally stuffed. We went with Brett's brother, who was in town for work, and a few of his coworkers.

Tuesday: I studied for a Nuclear Engineering test all day except for a few hours while I was working and a few hours of procrastinating. I also make a pretty good stir-fry. The best part of the day however was finding out that Brett did fantastic of the chemistry test he took Monday. I am so proud of him.

So I almost forgot to include this story: Tuesday morning while I was getting ready in the bathroom I heard a noise in the kitchen which sounded like a growl. I called out... "Ah Brett, I think there is a bear in the kitchen!" He promptly replied "There is. B-R-grizzly bear-Brett." I thought it was the most adorable thing in the world. Evidently when he was a kid his mom would call him B-R-grizzly bear Brett and his brother S-E-mountain lion Sean. How cute is that. Now Brett and Sean just call each other ugly and stinky... not quite as cute.

Wednesday/Today: Classes all day. I got my fluids test back from Monday and actually did really well. I also took a test in nuclear engineering. That test didn't go so well at all... Actually I think it went really badly. Tonight was webelos. Always fun... We did physical fitness.

Well there you go people, are you even still awake? What a boring week so far, aside from watching Brett dance along to the country music awards performance just now. (He's a pretty bad dancer but at the same time a wonderful dancer because it cracks me up so much. ) So people make my life a little less boring and post on your blogs.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Families are so demanding!

So I keep hearing I want details I want details and so I give you details and you say I already had those details give me new details. Sheesh. There is no pleasing you all. No, I'm just kidding. I know alot of you have been wondering what happened post surgery and I'm sorry part two of the lost testy saga has taken so long. But in all reality there isn't much more, I mean I could give the all the details of the movies we watched while Brett was recovering...

So like I said last time Brett felt so good right after the surgery. While we were in the recovery room someone else was brought in and guess who it turned out to be... remember the old lady who wanted to turn the TV channel while the baseball game was on... yeah it was whoever she was waiting for. I laughed inside when she gave Brett's dad a look as she walked past. Once they had recorded sufficient vitals Brett was released to go home. It's good Brett's parents were there to drive Brett home because he was feeling so great I would have made him walk. Just kidding just kidding. But, I don't remember if I mentioned before, we live right across the street from the hospital. We walked to the surgery...

So once we had gotten home we all just crashed on the couch and flipped on the first movie of the recovery period, the last half of Rio Bravo (Brett had already watched the first half). I went to the store and picked up treats, his prescription, and movies. Once I got back the movie was about over and Brett's still nausous parents about ready to head home.

As I've already written Brett's parents left and within minutes were knocking at our door again because they had a flat tire. And of course all the tire places were already closed. Once his parents got everything settled and headed home Brett and I watched Iron Man. *MOVIE REVIEW* Meh, it was an okay movie.

The next few days were filled with movies, harry potter and sleeping. *MOVIES REVIEWS* 21-about college students count cards in vegas. I hated the movie and couldn't wait for it to end. But they just found it absolutely necessary to include scenes set in clubs with scantily clad women that were crude and unnecessary. Baby Mama- Woman hires a surrogate mother. Hilarious. Brett and I both loved the movie. We also watched Armageddon which is always a good movie and always makes me cry as well as 8 seconds. I think we watched a few more movies but I can't remember.

As far as how Brett was feeling he was pretty sore the second day and was only comfortable if he was completely horizontal. Each day he got better and better and by Wednesday was itching to get out of the apartment. The greatest aggravation was the cut on the tip of his tongue where he had bit it. It got pretty swollen and hurt his pretty bad. It was made even worse by the fact that his mom had brought down cookies and he couldn't eat them because when they got stuck in his teeth it really hurt his tongue to try to get them out.

So like I said.. the week was very uneventful. The following Monday it was back to the daily grind of school. Thursday was the following up with the urologist where we got back the pathology report.... that however will have to wait because I'm very sleepy.... and I still have to spell check and maybe try to proof read it.... nah forget the proof reading...

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

It's finally (almost over)!!

The election is almost come and gone (the polls close in 8 minutes) and I am so excited. I have gotten so tired of all the politics! I voted for the first time today and even have my sticker to prove it. I almost didn't vote but when I went into work my boss almost yelled at me that I had to vote. (Please keep in mind that when my boss uses his 'inside voice' he is only a decimal below shouting. When he uses his excited voice it gets even louder.) So I voted. I feel bad for voting because I'm definitely an under informed voter. But I also would have felt bad for not voting. I thought about following the advice I heard on the radio, 'just vote for whoever will make the best SNL skits!'. I was pretty tempted to vote on that alone because I love tina fey, but I did take a few more issues into account.

In other news of our life. I know I blogged that Brett has cancer, which is true, but I really haven't let on many more details. And it's mostly because I don't want to worry people. But then I realized the other day why Brett and I are handling the entire thing so well while some other people are nearly making themselves sick with worry. It's because Brett and I know exactly how much we can do for ourselves, we know when our next doctor's appointment is and we know that we can't do anything more till then. We also know what our own needs are and we can meet then and move on. However, family and friends it's different. When I've been the family or friend I've been the one worrying sick with what if's and what more can I do. So in appreciation for all your prayers and expressions of love I'll fill you in as much as I can on all the what if's and what more can you do's.

So I'll start from the beginning and instead of saving the post when I run out of time tonight and then never finishing it. (I have a billion unposted posts.) I'll just publish what I've finished and pick up later.

So nearly two months ago Brett discovered a mass on his testicle. What a blessing it is that instead of ignoring the thing we went to our family doctor (after of course finding one) and had it checked out. This let to an ultrasound a week later. About another week later the result came back. This day I remember as a vivid blur (oxymoron... yes). It was a Tuesday and I was at school doing homework. Brett called letting me know the results had come back and our family doctor had suggested the name of a Urologist. I spent the remainder of the day crying. I cried on the phone with the insurance company (calling the insurance company to see what was covered is about the first thing I did), I cried as I picked up my stuff from the computer lab I was working in and left (much to the bewilderment and concern of my friends), I cried as I told my boss I would not be coming into work, and I cried as I walked home. And when I got home I made Brett cry because I was crying. I then called and told my parents and cried. And surprisingly I did not cry when I called the radiologist that lives down the street and asked if he'd look at Brett's ultrasound results. I also did not laugh with fear or sorrow but with ironic tears when I wrote a paper for school about radiation and where it comes from. (FYI a large portion of our radiation dose come from medical procedures.) Lucky the tears cease and left me with a headache. And even more luckily our appointment with the Urologist was the next morning because really it is the unknown that drives me to tears. As soon as we realized, yeah it is probably cancer, every movie about someone with cancer came to my mind and the fear and emotional roller coaster set it. But I'm happy to say that day was the only time that I cried for fear.

The next morning (a Wednesday) a long wait and short meeting with the Urologist put the uncertainty of what was coming to rest. The thought was that the mass was small enough that it had probably not spread but to confirm this a CT scan and a chest X-Ray were set up for the next day. A radical orchiectomy (surgery) was scheduled for the following Monday. And such a blessing it was that the following Monday also happened the be the Monday a week long break from school, thus, to Brett's dismay he didn't miss any school and to my relief I didn't miss any school.

So our week long break at home in Idaho was shortened to one weekend. That Saturday was a nephew's birthday party and the perfect opportunity for Brett to get a blessing from his father and all his brothers. This day I also cried, not because I was scared, but because I can't not cry during a priesthood blessing, because I have faith and I knew that everything was going to be okay and I was thankful for that, but most of all because the power of those men in that room was real and was so strong it's undeniable. I start to cry just thinking about it.

Well all wonderful weekends come to an end. Mine ended with the flu the minute we walked back into our apartment. (Luckily I made it to our apartment). The following morning was filled with nausea (on the part of me and both Brett's parents) and worry. I nearly puked when the put the IV in Brett (combination of dislike of needles and again the nausea). Then came the waiting room (and more nausea). First was an hour and fifteen minutes of waiting for the doctor to come out. I looked up every time I heard footsteps walk past hoping it was the doctor. Then once he came out and told us everything went well was 45 minutes of waiting for the phone in the waiting room to ring saying we could come back. The highlight of this waiting period was when a little old lady wanted to change the TV channel and Brett's dad strongly objected because the game was on and the Ray's were playing. Finally as the 45 minutes was coming to an end I found myself incredibly annoyed at the family watching a very loud, rather inappropriate movie on their laptop in the back of the waiting room. But let me tell you when that phone rang I jumped up and ran over faster than I've ever moved before. I was so relieved that the call was for me and not one of the other families waiting.

Brett was in heaven back in the recovery room. He had apple juice and 'nilla wafers. He felt so great the rest of the night while Brett's parents and I all still felt sick.

Over the following week Brett recovered so quickly.

Speaking of Brett... he's home now so I'll finish later.

Monday, November 3, 2008

This post is for Joanie!!!

So my sister-in-law took her blog private and slacker me procrastinated sending her a simple email to say 'hey here is my info add me'. So now I'm out in the cold with no Joanie updates. So joanie, please add me (I don't know what info you need.. email? social? blood type? DNA sample? I hope just email...) . And one more thing.... I know I spell your name wrong half the time (or maybe even all the time)... I'm sorry.