What I regret most from high school.

In reply to Amber's comment on my last post of 'if that is the worst thing you did in high school you were a saint' No,the way I handled that boy wasn't the worst thing I did in high school but here is my biggest regret from high school.....

I did my fair share of mistake making in high school but I don't regret the mistakes so much because of the lessons learned. My number one regret was being mean to someone and never making the wrong right. My first year in high school was marked by a transition in friends and a new ability to leave campus for lunch. By the end of sophomore year our lunch group consisted of my best friends Brittani and Katrina, a few boys and another girl, I'll refer to her as Jane although that isn't her name. Brit, kat and I were pretty well inseparable but lunch was about the only time we'd hang out with the boys and Jane. Jane was really about the sweetest girl and we would invite her to do stuff outside of school but she always declined. Maybe we could have tried harder. Well the boys decided Jane was a bit weird and so on the last day of school, when we had an extra long lunch and were planning on going to go to my house, convinced me to ditch her for lunch. So we made plans to meet at a different location inorder to avoid her coming along. Well we went to lunch, I had one more class that afternoon and then summer started. I didn't see Jane again and so never had to see if she realized we had ditched her or thought it was just an accident that she was left behind. Actually I know she had other friends so I don't even know if she was planning on going to lunch with us that day. Summer passed and since we never hung out with her outside of school I didn't see her. School started again and I never really talked to her and never really thought about it... until the following spring break when I came home from vacation to learn she had been killed. Apparently she had snuck out of her house with a boy, I seem to remember the newspaper article saying he had been drinking, and when they missed a curve in the road they flew off the rode, were ejected from the car and both died. The fact that I never apologized or even spoke to her again and now won't have the chance to is what I regret most from high school. I know that Jane had other friends and I don't think what we did that day was the end of the world for ther but I still did something that was less than kind to her and never fixed my mistake.

So I ask you, is there someone you wrong and you haven't made it right yet? Don't loose the chance to make it right and remeber what garth brooks says:

... I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel

Random

You ever have someone do something that bugs you and you just want to yell out and tell everyone how much it bothers you but you don't because you know your being silly and you don't like confrontation. Plus you can't blog about it because your blog isn't private and you don't want it to come back and bite you years down the road when the person in question happens upon your blog and calls you out upon it. Having one of those afternoons.

That makes me think of a random story to tell:
Just after I turned sixteen my interest was sparked for the boy who sat across the room from me in English class. I couldn't believe it when he singled me out for attention. (He was actually the boy who took me on my first official date.) Well as with most girls once they get attention from the boy they move on... and I had moved on but was still getting attention. Well one night I was expressing my dislike of the attention to my friend in the girls bathroom at church. Little did I know another girl was in the bathroom and was good friends with the boy in question (I think she may have even liked him but the details are a bit fuzzy). So suddenly the attention stopped which I was fine with. And I forgot about it. Until almost a whole trimester later when upon opening my locker I found a note from him calling me out on what happened. I'm pretty sure I apologized.... it may have even been in a return note (how high school is that) and we both moved on. He actually dated my neighbor down the street for a while. Well boy in question.... if you ever stumble upon this blog and realize it's you i'm talking about I'm really sorry. Thanks for teaching me my lesson.

--

In other news:

• it's friday (that's not actually news its a common known fact). Which makes me very happy.
• there is a rodeo this weekend we're going to go to.
• it's been a rainy summer. And I love the rain. I really like carrying and wearing my rain coat.
• I'm almost done with my project at work

Well.... that is about done as far as news I can come up with. I hope your week has been more interesting.

Weeding

Its kind of weird but sometimes when I'm doing boring things I put blog commentary to my boring activity. Like tonight, while weeding the strawberry patch, I mentally created a very long blog post... It included dark clouds and a giant birds and poor strawberry plants that accidentally got pulled up. Your pretty lucky that's all of the post your getting. It was kind of long and not too exciting.

on other notes..... okay there isn't much. I work a lot, work out now and again, I don't see Brett as much as I want..... sorry life is so boring... you can keep looking over this blog..

Softball game 1

Tonight was game 1 of our softball season. And softball game 1 of my life. The last time I hit a ball with a bat it was in my parents pasture and cow pies were the bases. Brett played softball the summer we met and was so sad last summer when almost his whole family played on a team together. So this year, as soon as I accepted my internship at the INL we were planning on playing softball. Now here comes a little insight into me. I don't like being bad at things. Obviously no one want to be bad at anything but I really hate being bad at anything especially in front of other people. I tend to stick with what I'm good at... basically school and a few other things. So because inevitably i'm horrible at something I've never done i was almost having anxiety attacks leading up to tonight. I was praying for rain but for once (it seems like) the weather was good. Well tonight has now come and gone and I'm done for the season. Why? because I hit the ball and made it to first base. That was my goal for the season I'm done.

Okay just kidding. But I am happy the bat touched the ball and that I even made it to first. (Oh yeah I struck out the next two times I was at bat but you can't have everything)

3 days

I'm worked three days now..... wait no 4!!! oh boy its been a long week!

I have a tough life...

Lately I've taken up the habit of replying "You have a tough life *dripping with sarcasm*" whenever Brett complains about something small and insignificant. For example.

Brett: I don't know which shoes to wear today. Its so frustrating

Me: Ah, You have a tough life *dripping sarcasm*.

(Please note: this has never happened. Brett doesn't own enough shoes to have options.)

or here's another example.

Me: I'm so frustrated because I made silly stupid mistakes on my final. It was a cake final! I should have gotten a perfect score! And its not like I was short on time. I had like an extra half an hour. But no I just failed to read the test carefully enough and made silly mistakes like switching x and y and evaluating at the center of the churro instead of half way between the center and the surface ( you have to read on of this professors tests to understand). I could bomb a test and not care because I had no clue how to do the problems. In this case I knew how to do every problem and will still probably do okay but I'm ticked at myself for my stupid mistakes. I should have done better. I'm so angry

in reply to myself... "I have a tough life *dripping sarcasm*"

(Please note: This is a true story.. and I am really frustrated with myself.)